Do You Know Santa's True Profession???
Submitted by KSmith

Consider the following:

1. You never actually see Santa, only his "assistants."
2. Santa keeps his job until he decides to retire.
3. Santa doesn't really do the work; he directs a bunch of helpers
to do all his work for him, but he's the one who everybody credits
with the work.
4. Santa doesn't work anywhere near a 40 hour week.
5. Santa travels a lot.

Santa is obviously a senior faculty member with tenure!

At Grandma's
- Written by Tab Nettleton
Submitted by Joke-Of-The-Day.com member

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents.  At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.

"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO...
I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."  To which the little brother replied, "No, but Gramma is!"

Christmas Fireman

In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed   great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature  bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.  Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

At a "Quick Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You damn Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said
"See, it says right here,  'The three wise man came from afar.'"

An Axe to Grind

A boy begs his father to get him a Christmas tree this year.
Each year, the boy asks and the father tells him, "I don't
want to pay for it."

But the son kept begging. Unable to bear his son's whining,
he picks up his axe one day and heads out of the house.
Thirty minutes later he returns with a great big Christmas tree. "How did you cut it down so fast?" his son asks.

"I didn't cut it down," the father replies.
"I got it at a tree lot."

"Then why did you bring an axe?"

"Because I didn't want to pay."

(Source: humormatters.com)

Editor: Catherine